Vivid
by sdbubbles
Summary: Jac's not an easy person to frighten, but some experiences rattle even the most unflappable of people.


**A/N: Not really sure where this came from. Again. Ah, well. Hope you all like it though!**

**Sarah x**

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The car was speeding down the old country road. "Calm it, Jonny!" she screamed, but he did not listen. He was singing along to the broken radio to a song neither could name, baby in the back seat. It was the dead of winter, their newborn in the back of the car as they, for reasons unknown to her, took the back road to work.

She felt the back end of the car swing and her heart was in her mouth, along with her stomach contents. "Stop it!"

"It's fine," he grinned. Why was he being so irresponsible?! Putting them all in danger like that? Was he really _that_ juvenile?!

"No, Jonny, I mean it! I don't give a damn if we're late! I want us all there in one piece!" she argued, aware her voice was coming out in a shrill scream as she saw all the patches of ice glittering in the sun on an untreated road. "She's crying! Slow _down_!" Jac insisted.

Her phone rang, and she answered it, finding it was Henrik Hanssen on the other end of the line. "Yes, Mr. Hanssen, we'll be there in twenty minutes or so. The roads are really bad," she explained as Jonny swerved to miss a patch of sparkling white ice.

"They were fine when I came in," Hanssen replied, sounding confused rather than annoyed.

"We've ended up taking the back road."

"Why?! Miss Naylor, you know how dangerous those roads are in the winter," he chastised her for disregarding her safety. Little did he know that Jonny was the one who had done that.

"Jonny!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.

"Miss Naylor!" Hanssen shouted, sounding thoroughly alarmed, but she was too petrified to answer with anything comprehensible. "Jac!"

Before she knew it they were spinning into the woods, her arms covering her head in a brace position, and she felt the car impact into what she could only assume was a tree. When she deemed it safe she uncovered her head and turned around to see Jonny, unconscious and bleeding, glass from the window in his chest, both airbags deflated in a white mess in front of them. She glanced around to see the baby had stopped crying – never a good sign.

Oh, no. No, no, no. _No_. This could not be happening. She could not be losing them both.

She frantically searched for her phone; the screen was smashed but it was still operational. Her saving grace as she phoned 999...but in her heart she knew she was too late. They were gone. She could feel their presence ripped from her soul. She did her best to resuscitate Jonny to no effect. Her hand forced, she carefully climbed into the back to check on her daughter.

"Come on, darling," she said, assessing the baby's condition hopelessly, attempting CPR on the infant. "Don't do this to me," she wept. "You're strong. Just breathe! I love you, baby girl, so much!" she found herself crying helplessly at the sight of her lifeless daughter. "Please, baby. Please, don't give up on me," she begged, feeling faint and dizzy...this couldn't be happening.

The sirens approached, but she knew she would be the only survivor here. It wasn't right. Why couldn't she take her child's place? She would have given her own life to save her...

Suddenly she was in a dimly lit room. It was no longer winter. She was no longer outside. Ignoring the cold sweat covering her body, she did not feel the bite of the deadly winter morning. "It's OK," she heard Serena Campbell reassuring her, kneeling by the bed. "Nurse Jones tried to help but he had to call for me."

Shocked and disgusted at her weakness, Jac hastily wiped the terrified tears from her face. She was disorientated. She didn't know exactly when or where she was. Only that she was in her scrubs, so she was presumably in the hospital. "Jonny," she found herself saying. "Where's Jonny?!"

"It's one in the morning on a Tuesday," Serena replied with a small smile, handing her tissues. "If he's got any brains at all he'll be in bed; his shift starts at eight."

The news that Jonny was safe, presumably asleep, was a comfort. "My baby," she asked, trying to remember what happened to her daughter before she passed out – at least that's what she assumed had happened – but couldn't remember. "Where's my child?!" she demanded, acutely aware of her aggressive tone.

"You've not given birth yet, Jac," Serena said with a small smile. "Ridiculous eating habits aside, you're not even showing yet."

"What's going on?!" Jac tried to get her head around it all. She was confused. If Jonny was alive then that crash never happened. If she hadn't given birth and wasn't far enough gone to have a bump then it wasn't winter.

"You were tired," the older woman explained. "Elliot ordered you to get an hour's sleep because he thought you would pass out. He stayed an extra hour until Dr. Valentine arrived. This must be your first pregnancy nightmare?" she guessed.

"Is _that_ was it was?!" Jac asked disbelievingly. "But I honestly thought it was real!"

"So did I, first time I had it," Serena assured her. Jac felt her hand on her arm, and was surprised to find it a comfort in all the confusion. "I know it feels real, Jac, but it's not, OK?"

"So Jonny's at home sleeping," Jac relayed her loved ones' locations slowly. "And my baby's still here," she added, her hand falling above her abdomen and her child.

"Exactly," she replied, pushing Jac's red hair out of her eyes. "What did you dream about, if you don't mind me asking?"

Jac sighed and sat up properly, not believing how stupid she was. The only thing more terrifying than that dream was what it might have meant to her. What if Jonny _did_ behave so recklessly and childishly when their child was born? What if he _didn't_ listen to her when she tried to be the grown up? What if he _did_ cause an accident?!

"It was the middle of winter," she recounted to Serena. "Jonny was speeding down the back road. I was in the passenger seat and the baby was in the back. Hanssen was on the phone giving us in trouble for taking the back road and Jonny hit ice. The car spun into a tree. Killed Jonny and the baby," she felt her voice crack at the memory of their lifeless bodies. She found herself crying again, unable to push the image out of her mind. "Damn these bloody hormones," she laughed, trying to make a joke of it. "I'm fine. Just being stupid."

"You're worrying," she accused before Jac could deny it. "I can tell."

Jac groaned. "It's like a warning. It's like my mind telling me to remember Jonny's got the mental age of about eight a lot of the time."

"Him and half the male population," snorted Serena, to Jac's amusement. "He's silly, yes, but he would never do something to put you or the baby in harm's way!"

"My mind obviously thinks he's a danger though," Jac insisted. "He was being childish. He was ignoring me when I told him to slow down."

"He wouldn't do that. You know that."

"I know," sighed Jac. "But then Hanssen on the phone makes me think I'll put work first and the baby will suffer for it."

"That won't happen. Jonny won't allow it," Serena said. Jac knew she was talking sense really. It was just the fact he mind came up with all this that unnerved her.

"I do remember thinking I would have died to save the baby though," Jac said carefully, trying not to say it was the baby girl she had seen in her dream. She didn't know if she was having a boy or a girl yet, and she didn't want to sound like an idiot. She felt hot tears spill down her face and said again, "Sorry. I'm being a right pain in the arse!"

"It's fine," Serena reiterated. "I remember how...vivid...the dreams can be," she smiled. "There were many times I woke up in the dead of the night in tears, so don't worry about it."

Jac gave a small laugh at the idea of Serena Campbell going through this. It was easy to forget the woman was a mother and had therefore gone through all this herself. Not to mention she was not half as nagging as Mo about how to deal with pregnancy.

Momentarily curious – and she regretted it as soon as the words left her mouth – she asked, "What dreams did you have? If you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, believe me, my imagination ran wild," Serena chuckled. "I dreamt about everything from mass murder to drowning to the bloody Ebola virus and anything and everything in between."

"And here I was thinking my mind came up with some insane crap," Jac laughed, wiping away the last of the tears. "The Ebola virus?!" she demanded incredulously.

"Yeah. My husband went to stay the weekend at a conference," she explained. "Meanwhile I was in bed dreaming I was dying from the Ebola virus."

"Always knew you were weird," Jac quipped, making Serena burst out laughing. "Come on. Back to work, before I drive myself as insane as you," she remarked as she got to her feet, checking her make up in the bedside mirror and smearing away with her fingertips any melted blackness around her eyes.

Serena affectionately patted her back as she passed, and Jac knew she truly empathised with her trauma. It was the most frightening thing she had experienced in a long, long time. "Oh, and Jac," she turned on her heel at the door. "When that happens at home and you don't feel like crying down the phone to Jonny while he thinks you're a moron, don't hesitate to give me a call. Been there, done that. Men don't understand."

"At one in the morning?!" Jac laughed. "Don't worry. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Day or night," Serena insisted, and Jac realised she was serious. "The dreams can be awful, Jac. I know that much."

"OK," smiled Jac as they left. "Thank you." As she watched Serena walk away, she sniggered, "Bloody Ebola virus." At least she wasn't the only mental one around here then.

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**Hope this is OK!  
Please feel free to review and tell me your thoughts!  
Sarah x**


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